“A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.”


As individuals, and as a race, we may be very advanced in some areas while still taking our baby steps in others. We may be intellectually or technically brilliant, yet when it comes down to the most fundamental and necessary ingredient in life, the heart of the matter is: we are all here to develop our capacity to love. It is very simple. So while some topics may feel basic to us, this lack of base is, precisely, what weakens us. As tempting as it is to race ahead, we do well to build our lower rungs strong, for we are climbing a ladder to the stars.

It’s more hazardous to race up a shaky ladder than to struggle on the lower rungs while making them secure.


 In our desire to get further faster, we tend to skip some steps. This leaves us rather ungrounded and is the cause of much emotional instability, lack of self appreciation and other issues in our modern culture. We have largely become separated from ourselves, from our sacred inner connection, and from our sense of gratitude and reverence towards life.

We are now reconnecting. Our relationship to ourselves is the key factor. We are a bridge: it is through our fundamental inner relationship, through our daily work and presence, that we each facilitate the light of consciousness, the light of love, to become increasingly anchored in our world.

This lifetime is not about getting higher, to transcend, to escape the physical plane. We are en-light-ening this dimension. The only way beyond it is through it. Hence life repeatedly brings us down to our base until we embrace it. It is thus, through the ups and downs of life, that we build our internal ladder. Linking and integrating all our parts we open our inner lines for wisdom to flow.

We become the living channels through which the love of our inner self, our spirit, is downloaded into the very depths of matter.



You are the only person you will be with your entire life. The most worthwhile, personally rewarding thing anyone can do is to work on that inner relationship. It is a lifetime journey of opening and discovery, of increasing acceptance and love. Through it all strength and wisdom comes. At the base of all mistrust is our mistrust of ourselves. Either that we won’t do things right, are insufficient, or that we will judge ourselves harshly for failing to match up to our own expectations. By befriending ourselves we befriend life and the world.

Mostly we quite like ourselves, on the surface; but look a bit deeper and oh no, what are those odd bits hiding in there? Suppressed, because we are scared we are not good enough. For whom may I ask? We only have to be good enough for ourselves.

There is so much we do because we don’t feel quite adequate. We work to get more, push to be more, use discipline and force to “achieve” more. Whatever we do on the outside is never quite enough…
I saw how we first undermine ourselves with doubts, and then we spend energy over-compensating for our “shortcomings” when, really, little was wrong in the first place. We are only short of trust and self approval and nothing we can do on the outside is going to make up for that.

… The tendency is often to override the sensitivities of our small part to become “stronger” or to fly higher. Actually, we weaken ourselves through this repression and this split of our wholeness. A strong facade simply covers up our vulnerability. It cuts off the feelings that are our true guide. Do we really need to become better…or just more trusting, more in touch with our own loving base, more at ease with our sensitive and softer side?

The wish to protect that insecure part is fair enough, but the remedy lies not in a tougher skin. That is just armor, a surface solution. It does not heal the underlying hurt we feel. What is it that really makes us strong? A solid foundation.

Unshakeable strength lies in understanding, acceptance and trust

~ in ourselves, the world, and the process of Life.



The answer lies within. By checking out our core beliefs we find what it is inside ourselves that keeps attracting what we don’t want. What comes to us in life is not random fate, it is a reflection of our innermost feelings and our often unconscious focus. It is our unacknowledged parts that sabotage us and knock us off balance, repeatedly raising our emotions or sending us to the bottle, the fridge, the doctor or the box of tissues. We want to be in full agreement with ourselves; this integrity is our protection and our core strength. Once we look into our own shadows and love whatever we find within, we become steady.

…It is by recognizing our self judgment that we discover the healer: compassion. It is, finally, our return to innocence.

It is through compassionate self appreciation of all we are that we express ~ and thus benefit from ~ the strongest power in the world: Love.

Through love we come to know that we are already okay, perfect with our imperfections. And once we feel this, we can relax. Growing is not about pushing ourselves to become someone, but opening to love who we are. For as long as we are striving to be better, rather than just enjoying to expand, we are affirming that we are not yet good enough. So the great news is you don’t have to be the first to climb Everest in the nude. The only way to be more is to love more. Our assignment here is simply to love ourselves. Make it your pet project.

Through really loving ourselves we drop force, the old mindset that humanity has been in: “no pain, no gain.” (And we wonder why life hurts!) We find that when we are easy on ourselves, life is easy on us. For we are the ones who are directing our lives. Everything comes without force, if we allow it to. To do so, we need trust.

Recognize that we are already whole, perfect, and that the route of the least resistance is the way water flows. Doing something against the grain, because we feel we ought to, may not be benefiting us. If things feel desperate, go jump in the pool! At play we are closest to our true nature. Right brain activities like playing, singing, dancing, contemplation and sharing love are natural ways to regain balance and reconnect to our inner being.

My life has shown me again and again to stay in touch with my smaller side. It is the measure of our self-love. When that part is relaxed and happy we are more open, and thus work better, hand in hand with our higher selves. We avail ourselves of tremendous guidance, support, and creativity by recognizing that we do not need to push anything to happen all by our little selves. When we are in tune, everything flows with ease and grace. I am weary and wary of too much discipline. We often try too hard and block ourselves, whereas when we trust and are at ease the expression of our beautiful inner self flows naturally.

It is when we go on holiday or into deep relaxation, when we let go of the worries and the tensions, that our fullness, the pure joy of our being, shines through. Unburdened and open once again we feel reborn ~ and reminded: This is who I really am!

At the risk of sounding like a skipping CD, I’m going to say it again: Be kind to yourself, befriend yourself. The tired face we sometimes catch in the mirror is struggling not only with outer conditions but with its own mindset. So give yourself some loving. We can’t get it all right all the time, but we can appreciate ourselves for what we do well and not mind ourselves for what we don’t. Whenever you feel inadequate, just remember… you were once, out of millions, the quickest sperm! We can relax, we got here. We already won.



We each have the two year old and the thousand year old within us and, of course, everything in between. In fact each of us is a bridge between the human plane and the divine. No wonder life feels like a stretch!

The relationship within us, between these parts, is the key to all other relationships: personal, social and cosmic. It is the ladder we are building to the stars.

We mostly take refuge in our stronger parts and repress the smaller ones until they burst out, and we break down. Yet it is when we feel those aspects of ourselves that we actually approach our purpose. Our smaller being has the hardest job here. It carries all the fears, feels all the hurt, and gets judged as not good enough. It gets ignored, silenced, forgotten, hidden, blamed and locked away!

Recognizing this weakest part is the key to our expansion. For it embodies the very aspects of the human psyche we came here to integrate, to uplift and to en-lighten. That is why our shadow traits are the opposite of our brightest side, and by acknowledging them we unleash our creative energy. It is why “we teach best what we most need to learn.”

It appears some very bright spirits have chosen extremely dense matter: fear, anger, hate, or addiction. They have delved the deepest, taken on the most resistant patterns, so as to download the light and warmth of love into the deepest depths of the unconscious.

Our spirited part holds the vision, the courage, and the light. Our personal part carries the feeling, the softness and the sensitivity. So let’s listen to the little one with empathy. It is the part we are here to merge with. Whether we see it as our inner child, our little sister or brother, our shadow or our “pet human”… it is time to reopen the dialogue. Tune into, and trust, our highest part too, for it is here to help us through our insecurities to another world. Through this openness we bridge the gap and we re-establish a loving relationship within ourselves. We become whole again.


Our journey here is one of reunion: Rekindling the bond. Indeed, we are still “hu-man becomings.” Through the merging of the human being and the spirit being that we are, we are destined to become a “HU-man” in the true, literal sense of the word, a “god-person.”